How to avoid being their holiday placeholder
Sledging season is here—let’s make sure your summer love is the real deal.
When I first read about sledging, I thought: "Well, clearly this is a cold-weather trend, so this won’t affect my single friends in Australia." I mean, it’s all about cosying up with someone during the winter months and then ghosting them as soon as the temperature rises. But then I had an unfortunate realisation… sledging works just as well during the Australian holiday season—it’s just swapping snow for sand.
Let me explain.
What is sledging?
Sledging is when someone snuggles up to you for convenience—whether it’s because they want a plus-one for holiday events, someone to snuggle with, or even just a fling to get them through the social chaos of the season. And when the fireworks fade and January rolls in? They’re out faster than you can say, “New Year, new me.”
Honestly, it’s easy to see why it would happen in Australia, where the holiday season coincides with summer—a time for barbecues, beach trips, rooftop parties, and an endless stream of social events. The festive vibes and sunshine can make even the most independent among us crave a sneaky situationship. But what you don’t want is to wake up in February (right on queue for Valentine’s Day) wondering if your summer romance was nothing more than a seasonal convenience.
How to spot a summer sledger
Here are the red flags to watch out for:
Event hopping: They’re always inviting you to group activities or events but rarely suggest one-on-one time. Usually, meeting the friends is a good thing. But if it feels like you’re being paraded around rather than truly getting to know each other, take note.
Overeager early on: They come in hot just as the holiday season ramps up, showering you with attention. But if you’ve only known them for a few days, it might be more about the season than you.
New Year fade-out: Do they suddenly get “busy” after the New Year celebrations wrap up? Classic sledging behaviour.
Love-bombing lite: If they’re hyping up your connection but you haven’t even had a real conversation about what you both want, it might be because they’re keeping things surface-level—just deep enough for the holidays.
How to dodge a sledger
Enter observation mode. This is where my favourite early-stage dating strategy, observation mode, comes into play. When you’re in observation mode, you’re not trying to control the outcome or force a connection. You’re simply sitting back, observing their behaviour and letting their actions tell you everything you need to know. Here’s how it’s done:
Don’t initiate: Let them come to you. Obviously, you’re making it clear that you’re interested and you may have even made the first move. But once you’ve been on a first date, are they genuinely making an effort? Or are you doing all the work to keep things going?
Watch for consistency: Do their actions align with their words? Are they keeping their promises, or are they flaking on plans as soon as something else comes up?
Check your gut: Are you feeling valued, or do you feel like you’re filling a slot in their social calendar? Trust your instincts—they’re rarely wrong.
Stay focused on your standards: If you know what you want (a relationship, something casual, etc.), stick to that. Don’t let the holidays distract you into compromising.
Sledging doesn’t need snow—it thrives in the sun just as easily. But when you know the signs, it’s easier to avoid becoming someone’s summer convenience. So keep your standards high, your vibe chill, and let observation mode do the work. Whether they step up or fade out, you’ll win either way.